A Night to Remember

When we initially planned out a Happy New Year party two weeks ago I was in serious doubt as to how much we would enjoy with such heavy plans. I felt there would be wastage of food, of drinks, of music (since nobody may dance) and more importantly, of energy (spent in planning the whole thing out). I was wrong on all counts except the food part; if two pizzas, chips and a few liters of soft drink count.

Man, it was great fun to groove with the classmates and I surprised myself with a few strange moves and could be seen clicking away so many pics that people got annoyed :)

There are a few lessons to be learnt from tonight:

• To lose inhibitions: No point fearing!
• Eat well, Drink well, Talk well: Enthusiasm is a prerequisite for life!
• Offer to clean up: More often than not the parties end up being arranged at home, so help the host to put things back in order!

Here is to a great year 2010. Lots of things are about to change!

As I turn twenty

Well, a post out of nowhere. I've always wanted to write so much about how I feel, but then, when some one pointed out that personal rant won't be productive, I succumbed. I did not feel like writing anymore! Not that I've been able to write anything of use but I sorely miss the mental satisfaction gained each time a post was published. Here I am, to cherish the same feeling after four long, eventful months.

That's the change I've undergone the entire year: I treaded off the path only to find that I had been on the right path all along. Got lost. But realized and worked out the path all over again.

There is so much to learn from failures and change is induced with each new failure: Failing made me stronger. There is a lot of difference when we do things after actually comprehending what they are.

In another way: unless and until I am able to justify why I believe in what I do, I would not believe in myself. Hope this serves as a new foreword to the posts hereafter.

Which room is Mine?

Its a new semester, and being in third year was a different feeling altogether. The excitement could not be scarred even a trifle despite the neck-breaking cab journey to Pilani.

So, we were to reside in Krishna Bhawan for the year. Few days into the semester all of us greeted each other near VK (the hostel in second year) with a grin on the face. Each of us got so used to being in VK that we always headed towards it after a class in the institute. Some of us even went till our old rooms and came back shaking our heads seeing somebody else inside.

Looks like it would take a few days to adjust :)

Open close

I stood in front of a mirror thinking about what would be

I close my eyes and I open them,

I could see dreams come true,

Not just good but the bad ones too:

"You will be okay"

Deep breath and I try to look back

I close my eyes and I open them,

I see the memories I treasure,

Desparately search for me but:

"Others were more important"

I was close to tears

I close my eyes and I open them,

I see not the blotchy reflection,

Nor the endless journey ahead but:

"I see me"

Cheers to a summer that taught me a few principles:

• develop infinite patience (future)
• to always share and care (past)
• never to give up (present)

I close my eyes and I open them,

I see things as if

I am seeing them for the first time.

Maintaining friendship with girls

Note: This is stuff being written in 2014, but stuff which I always followed right from the beginning of my back-friendship with school friends. Although the title says girls--because these thoughts struck me only when I became part of a group that also had girls--it applies to every friend.

• never talk about another girl or guy to them
• • unless you are discussing something bad :D
• don't tell everything you feel, wait for the right time esp. the good things. Something like using weapons in times of crisis.
• when you feel like buying them something, don't sit with that thought; go ahead and implement that. 
• don't plan anything, it will fail: listen to your heart and mind. 
• don't hide misunderstandings for long, you will end up hurting her. 
• how she feels is how you feel she feels, if you listen closely enough

Stupidity

Five things you will hate doing

1. Telling a campus senior that you are working at a small company when you meet him on the way to PS-I
2. Showing the middle finger when you want to suggest the word Sensex in a game of dumb sharats
3. Getting down from the bus at a stop earlier than yours and then walking all the way to the next one lest people would laugh if you got back in
4. Drinking Espresso just because you come to a place you call office when you actually hate its taste
   
5. Explaining colleagues a topic you have just read from the net when they already know it well
6. Putting up unrelated stuff in the title link :)
   

Was I rude, was I not?

I've received three ( still counting ) phone calls since morning from IDEA customer care center. College students refer to it as ICCC -> I triple C. All three callers were female. ( Fe, for short )

CALL 1 : ( 9948007356 )

Fe: Hello sir, this is from IDEA customer care.
Me: Yes please
Fe: Sir, since you are a  trusted customer who have been with us for long; we are giving you a free sim card sir. 

Me: We already have two add-on cards. Don't need any more, thank you!

Fe: Blah blah blah blah 

Me: No thanks

Fe: Blah blah 

Me: Bah 

Fe: Blah

Me: Bye

Five minutes later 

CALL 2 : ( 9948007362 ) 

Fe: Hello sir, this is from IDEA customer care.

Me: I have an extra sim card, do you want one? 

Fe: Yes sir, I have an extra sim card, do you want one? 

Me: Grrr. Who's this speaking? Your name please

Fe: ( something like ) Nafees

Me: Where are you talking from? 

Fe: ( in a low voice ) Karkhana

Me: Where exactly? 

Fe: Sir, IDEA main office. 

Me: What place did you say? 

Fe: Panjagutta ( in a even lower voice ) 

Me: Hmm 

Fe: Sir, why are you asking all this?

Me: I just received a call from the same office. If you are really concerned about serving trusted customers you would've known the fact that... wlah wlah wlah wlah 

Fe: Sorry sir, please don't be angry. 

Me: I am not. 

Fe: Your voice sounds like that. Sorry sir, we will not disturb you again. 

Me: Its alright. Bye :)

I felt very awkward, because that was the first time ever I lost my cool over the phone. ( and possibly for no reason ). Poor girl, she must have been so annoyed. I was halfway through calling her back and saying sorry when... 

CALL 3 : ( 9948007361 ) 

Me: Hello

Fe: Hello sir, this is from IDEA customer care.

Me: Yeah? 

Fe: Sir, since you are a  trusted customer who have been with us for long; we can give you a free sim card sir. 

Me: ( GRRR ) We do not require one thank you.

Fe: Are you sure sir? We are giveing it for free!

Me: ( Resisting temptation to shout ) Oh wow! But we do not need it as of now. I will call you whenever I am in need of one. 

Fe: Ok sir. Thankyou very much! Have a nice day! 

Me: Thanks. Bye!

So, basically after that call I didn't even think for a second I would call back to apologize Ms. Nafees ( or whoever it was ). It was a first showering-sarcasm-over-the-phone and it was funny :D. I have learnt one thing though. 

Being rude doesn't fetch anything : neither peace of mind nor an extra sim card.

And thanks to IDEA, I have my first post of the summer :)

Last night reflections

Today will be my last night in VISHWAKARMA BHAWAN. A huge hostel with a great mess, its a place every BITSian would want to be some or the other time during their stay. I know that each day now till August, I will be waking up to think what breakfast / which shake ( juice)  would be selling for lunch in the mess. 

Second year has been a great one

Every year in our lives we come across new experiences and it strengthens our mental outlook, enhances our maturity and adds to our understanding of the world. The fact about my second year is that it has done all this but the HARD WAY. Absolutely no complaints though. For I may forget the pain or whatever but I will never let go of the lessons: 

• Not all people around you are your friends. Everybody thinks for their own purposes, about their own grades, about their own life and they are ready to pull you down if you are ahead. 
• Girls are an intelligent lot, perhaps even more than the (male) 10-pointers. They think a lot before saying anything and get pissed off at the slightest insult. Never mess around with them, neither on the phone nor while chatting.
• Everybody wants a share of everything. They all (at times, including me) want to enter into every field they can. For example, I know of 9-pointers who want to show their mettle by 1) being a part of every sport: cricket, football, swimming( whether playing / viewing! )     2) watching every movie, every series, etc that is available on LAN                                        3) Finally they want to be a part of poilitics as well. 

Silly though they may sound its worth knowing that such things happen and that care needs to be exercised. And it explains why people say that we tend to become less careless as time passes by :). The reason is that there are many a pit holes that we discover in our path and we need to cross them carefully. 

It doesn't feel as though I'm a second yearite. For one thing, I still do not know what is the (best)  way to study. That is because with each passing semester I've kept changing my way of study and many a times, fortunately, it has lead to better performance. I do not know how much time it would take for an established method of study to come into picture. 

Can anyine tell me who is or what an ideal second yearite should possess? 

How I feel

I feel hurt, broken and unpleasantly sure that the future could be the same. But despite all injured feelings I feel good. I feel stronger, mature. And I will work to forget these hard-learned lessons of second year. Ironical? Well, yes. These (moral/immortal) lessons that all of us keep learning from time to time are not for telling future generations. They are for own selves.

Such things should never come in the thought process again. What I mean is, the next semester I will not do anything that will make me realize the same lesson again! A new lesson would be welcome but the same mistakes I shall not repeat. 

As for any tensions or frustrations, I have learnt to look at them as opportunities to know thyself

My BITS Day

This day holds a lot of challenge every year. As a brief overview of what I mean here's what happened when : 

DATE	EXAM / TEST
May 11th, 2007	BITSAT
May 11th, 2008	WORKSHOP
May 11th, 2009	DISCRETE STRUCTURES FOR COMPUTER SCIENCE

It felt very strange as I was writing WORKSHOP exam: that only last year I was writing BITSAT and now an exam in BITS. This year also, I felt no less strange. I am just wondering now about May 11th, 2010 : NEXT IS WHAT?

Lab Test

Many of the seniors had told me that a day's preparation would suffice for the lab test(EEE). It was true since the basic connection in all the experiments were very nearly the same. So, after having prepared a full night I headed for the lab test. 

When we entered we saw that there were a lot of empty sheets kept on the table. Now, the experiment that each person would do will be decided by which sheet they would pick up. Fortunately, I choose to pick up a very easy one. (Potential across R-L and R-C circuits :P) 

Although, it was something that could be completed in half an hour, I took that time to make my connections! I gave it over to the instructor to evaluate. He saw the connections, shook his head and said something like 'zero'. My heart stopped beating, my head went numb and I was feeling dumb. He swapped one connection and then asked me to show the circuit diagram. 

I thought that I had got the circuit diagram wrong. And I told sir that I had got confused and to excuse me since there was only one mistake. In the marks column, he scribbled " - 0.5 ". Grr, what a psycho I thought. Just the one connection wrong : 0 marks and 0.5 deducted for my conduct. Grrr. 

First I felt angry and then I was devastated. To think that after two months of experiments, I did not know how to put the routine connections properly. Aaah! It was too much to bear. I felt so low and there were some fifteen minutes to take the readings now. Trying, extremely hard to concentrate I managed the correct readings. 

Or so I thought I got them correct. One of the readings was wrong, I did not touch the terminals properly with the volmeter wires. Grrr. 

Hurriedly (in a minute or so) I finished the graph. Then I filled the tables and scribbled a few preacautions all the while wondering how the viva-voce will be.

The viva was a compensation for all the screwed up stuff that had happened until then. It went really well :). After getting the two out of three questions correct, he asked two leading qustions and I answered them around the bush, taking my time :). All in all, I managed a 8.5 / 10.

Since not many had scored more than 7, I requested sir to increase a few marks for the conncetions and that -0.5 was disturbing. He laughed his head off and told me that 0.5 marks have been deducted, phew. I felt sorry for thinking the lab assistant was a heartless psycho and went to pack my stuff. I gave a final look around the room, the last day was so eventful even if the daily experiments weren't. 

Room number 2119,  bye bye. 

April Dates

I have a habit of remembering certain dates and these are the ones that April reminds me of. 

April 10th, 2005: My entrance exam for a coaching centre that had a good reputation

April 19th, 2005: The results of that exam. I got selected :D.

April 19th, 2006: My intermediate first year ( equivalent to class XIth ) results. Scored 96%.

April 8th, 2007: IIT-JEE '07

Although there were some tests at college too on these dates , they were sort of routine hence I remember only a few of them. 

My experiments with classes

Well I thought : " There are seven courses this semester. Is it possible to walk away with good marks in all without struggling like mad. Maybe do well in one or two courses without trying too hard. "
It was sounding sane enough till then. But:
" Maybe this is what efficiency is all about. Get good grades without having to work too hard or maybe ... maybe without attending the classes!

Yes! That's it! Hooray!

Just study on your own like a natural scientist. "

In taking decisions like these people usually try to rope in somebody or at least ask their opinion. But I was sure that it will be fine." Maybe I'll try it for only one test and see how it goes. "


Obviously, the test flopped! And things seemed worse for the quiz that followed in a fortnight. Still adamant I stayed away from the classes and lo! quiz also approached without me attending any classes. The quiz wasn't very good either, so I decided to suspend my stupid experiment and here are the conlcusions:

• Never miss classes
• Even if you miss, write down the notes the very same day
• Write notes neatly and understand before writing so that you will be clear
• Take the textbooks to the class, especially if it is problem - solving day :)
• Pay attention

" Die but attend classes :P "


So, I ve learnt my lesson. If you are still not convinced you can repeat the experiment again and add a few more points to the list!


Pssst .. Funny , right? Funny because all of these things are known to us or at least we are taught when we were kindergarten kids. We knew every single do and don't. Just did not appreciate them or the pint needs to be driven into head.
Why?
Maybe because it will be helpful in the future :) .
Maybe we are to realize and learn its importance. Only after we commit silly experiments and look back do we know.
Another striking piece of evidence which suggests that life indeed lies in the small things.
Cheers!

Old Bank Setting

Among the other things that give Pilani a place in the Schaum's peculiar towns of the world list, a must see is the SBBJ- Slow Banking from Babloo & Joker.

Name : Babloo

Age : 50 + ( the time when adventures start happening in Pilani vasis. )

Education : 14 yrs schooling, 4 years makhaan mein kaam, ( Delhi-6 )

Since then : at humbling Pilani

Hobbies : latest ( 1990's ) songs from the market will always be on his mind, coming in time to office, handing over withdrawl sheets to waiting customers at snail pace, speaking as slowly on the phone as possible, etc.

Latest crush : Songs by Rahman : he will ask every soul on campus to send them by bluetooth. " uske liye balance nahi lagta.. "

Mode of transport : Usually phatphatiya, or his hyabooza

Naam : Joker, aa, joker!
Age : Little younger than babloo
Hobbies : To be more updated than Babloo :P
Headline : I take my own time
Favourite dialogue : " ek minut rookiyey "
Arrival : Minimum half an hour late.
( Note : Does not talk very much )

Waiting at the bank

Some of the nuances that come with not having an ATM card is waiting in a long queue at the bank. Its very far from being fun or funny, even if Babloo kept you entertained with silly jokes.
All of a sudden I had the feeling that maybe this was just a old hindi drama show that runs everyday for screening on doordarshan. Suddenly a phone call, tring tring , I was sure it was the boss saying he was ill and the serial would end saying to be continued...

Scene 3 : ( Enter Joker )
Finally, he arrives and is immediately served a glass of water. I guessed if this tradition were to break Babloo would lose his job. Before seating himself he prays to the Lord and only then starts off with the customers.


On the one side there is the world hit by recession; people jobless and stressed out completely.

" When the tough gets going, the going gets tougher "

In India, there is this youth full of energy. It seems while sleeping they keep muttering, start-ups... I'm the next big thing. There are people who are frustrated and angry and confused.

And what do we have here... a hindi drama produced by a bank manager and his assistant...


It feels so strange that life can be so simple at times.
Maybe it should be.
Maybe India is not in the cities but its beautiful villages.
Maybe one day we all will realise that life lies not just in big achievements but also the smallest of joys make it worth living.

A dream to remember

The light was about to fade. Nick was sitting on the pavement a little away from the trees lest birds would mistake his hair for the mud and happily leave droppings. He wasn't waiting for anyone, quite contrary to what the air of impatience around him suggested.

His thoughts swirling like smoke were slowly turning into anger. Hatred that was no never so extreme, a feeling of emptiness; a feeling that days to come are going to be bad, aaaargghh, he was not able to bear it anymore.

He got up and walked briskly. Slowly he wandered about to the temple, not because he was a pious priest but to avoid people. On the way he thought why things were the way they were.
" I am feeling lost and finding myself all over again. But why should I find myself only after I am lost? Why am I not stirred to perform unless something shakes me up thoroughly?
I need to find the answer, the key to my salvation. I need help, lots of it. "

He felt a little better after praying. He started thinking that maybe the future will be more promising, rather will keep up to its promises. The hope, the will, the faith. These alone make things happen. And of course, God's blessings : default.

Nick woke up and he realized he was dreaming all along. He felt so cheery, he decided he will go to the temple without fail. Before leaving he scribbled on the wall chart:

" Prayer makes you see things differently and calms your nerves "

Gaon nahi mehfil hain

ये पिलानी हैं
मेरे यार,
इस रेगिस्थान मैं
बस बीट्स और प्यार!

A view so similar to some of the old buildings and lanes you might recollect having seen or known. Pilani is definitely one of the strangest places because of the rich variety that it offers. Unpredictability rents the air, just like life, for example

• If its not the weather, its the birds.
  
• If its not the remoteness, its the beauty of the village that keeps one pleasantly surprised and guessing.
  

Life at Pilani cannot be explained, like all good places it has to be seen, felt and loved despite the fact that it does not have any 30min tourism ads nor does it boast of bearing ____

Its the time when the season changes:

• the sky turns strawberry-like;
  
• vanilla ice-cream wind becomes hot chocolaty; and
• the trees garnish the long pathways with yellowing leaves.

Ah! its that one moment you would not mind waiting all your life. The beauty digging deeper and deeper in your heart to get entrenched with the memories. No wonder people say many profound memories are remembered through sight, smell or sound. Guess, the remaining ones are just another brick in the wall.

It gives you that different kind of a feel when you walk through these places for the first time. The feeling to know

• how life works at this place;
  
• the small children going to school;
• the difference between your school and the ones over here ( its difficult to imagine anything better than your own school when you have studied there for twelve years )
  

Lastly, a lot of expectation from Delhi 6, being released tomorrow.

Not hoping for RDB magic
nor AKS tragic
but a message fantastic.

Structured Thoughts : Episode 1

One of my first night outs! and a peaceful one at that. Over the last one month I kept wondering what I would do if I had an entire day to myself.

• Watching a movie was definitely at the top of the list, 50% chance I would say.
  
• While chatting, blogging and singing comprised a quarter.
  
• The other quarter was more or less by default for studies. ( you would want to give more time, actually )

So, question arises : how was time killed? You could call it Time to kill The answers flow thus:

8pm, night before

A conspiracy in the library, whispering to each other behind those books we held in front of ourselves.

x : " Psst.. We literally have a holiday tomorrow. Most of the classes cancelled. You aware of that? "
y : " Oh yes! finally a break! phew! "
z : " Tonight's party folks. Which movie would you suggest? "

11pm, Three hours plus a few minutes later

We walked the distance from the library to our rooms feeling a little guilty about this:

There's some advice from a previous occupant which goes thus
" Keep doing something everyday to achieve your dream. "
and we did not. We planned a dreamy schedule if anything :(

1am,

Finished all the chatting and gossiping, made sure that no appointments were remaining. Made sure that people on Gtalk noticed my status message and display pic. We congratulated each other on the day's final events and set off to the all night canteen ( ANC ). A cheese burger, a samosa and a nescafe classic ( henceforth known as the USUAL ) merrily slid down the oesophagus.

3 am

When you want to watch a movie all alone on a cold wintery night you would hope that

• you are as comfortable as possible and
  
• also choose the right movie.

Don't know if Cupid struck me late or something, but I found myself going through the top 100 romantic movies. I finally found one whose synopsis sounded good and the cast was lively.

6am, after the movie:

3 hrs, you might wonder why? A thourough research goes into a movie before and after it is viewed, and hence the extra hour. The movie was fantastic and I wondered why it received only a 7.0.

7am.

To the birds outside chirping, the chowki noises and a red eyed fatso all I have to say is a very good morning, um er.., good night.

Random Thoughts : Episode 3

When I woke up today I wondered if all that I have heard about Valentine's Day was true. I was not looking forward to anything nor was I hoping to find anyone. I knew that it would be like any other day and I was not to be disappointed. Still I was very apprehensive about one thing, is it perfectly alright to wish anyone? Isn't it supposed to be only for lovers to whom the greetings are conveyed?

Well, I think it should be. The day is theirs who have been in a relation or those who want to convey their love and of course, the usual darling,-I-want-to-rekindle-our-love types. Also, it would be a funny sight watching two guys laughing and chatting, and the word dostana would acquire a particularly notorious fame as a substitute for its english equivalent. Nevertheless the day is definitely meant for those in love ( or infatuation, have a crush, etc) : homo or hetero.

And so I was pleasantly shocked when everyone was wishing each other and feeling proud about it. I recovered with a fit of laughter and never looked back at the issue. Well here goes another " we " day, maybe next time...

On a more serious note, the cornucopia of realizations have started yielding conclusions and have opened up doors. To start with I would say the world works in a most peculiar way. Not exactly bad but definitely not good. In short, I hate it the way it is, but yet love its intricacies since even I am its member.

You should be very careful about certain things, losing self-esteem in front of others can leave you depressed and cowardly. Stand up to all dumbasses, they will hurt you. They will kick mud in your eyes, waste your time, insult you and enjoy your losses. The important thing is to control yourself, don't let the taunts make you react. Grow strong with every insulting word you hear; knowing how weak and immature the opponent is to have said that. But when someone else is being subjected to this kind of an emotional test, don't hesitate, stop the dumbass right there. You may look like the dumbest person on earth but remember this:
P. G. Wodehouse (1881-1975)
"Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well."
It may sound irrelevant; but to keep your head when others around you are losing theirs is a great virtue indeed.

Things like bad group behavior and overeating have stepped far away. Maybe they have found love in more reliable people :-).

Change ++

" Something's seriously wrong with you." It clearly is. It most definitely is. These are the following pieces of evidence that I have gathered in an hour of hypothesis gazing past at the past thirty days or so.

(i) A sudden affinity for doing things that I so clearly told myself to avoid. One stroke of luck is that its not stagnant at all, it keeps waxing ( when there are no tests to look ahead, or on the slightest smell of a cigarette, er... holiday ) and waning ( in the eleventh hour of pending important work ).

What did I do? I found that if I looked at every single work to be done as important and gave it the highest priority, things would most certainly fall in place. The moment I postponed or showed disrespect they slipped off the track.

(ii) Going more and more silent while in a group. It has happened always and especially more so in the company of people slightly older or many in number. Call it hesitancy to expose my imbecility or call it respect, the issue stays there stuck in my throat and weird replies and expressions find place.
Is it autism??




But, I'm finding it quite comfortable to chat, text messages and to an extent talk over the phone yet my jaws freeze in a face-to-face situation, ya khuda .

(iii) Doubting if I'm any good at all. I have nothing to prove, nothing to tell... ( can also be read as ) I can do nothing, talk nothing...

(iv) After bending a few principles which are must for a good boy, I've found myself weaker and weaker. Has someone said: " Its so easy to lose what you have built over a period of time." Maybe he's right ( scratching the chin ).

(v) Not such a serious issue, but I'm growing very fat. Not a single day passes by without the inclusion of at least one of these things in my diet:

Initially:
Appy/ Frooti , small chocolates

Slowly:
Hide n' Seek biscuits, Cheese n' Onion: American style Lays chips

Steadily:
Cheese burgers, cheese pizzas ( two slices ), club sandwiches and coke/ cake at midnight ( the most dangerous time to eat these, attached with a lot of fat )

Recently:
Ice creams!!! ( Kid-style )
" An ice cream mounted with a cherry ,
Keeps the dentist counting and merry. "

---

Despite all the nonsense I have been doing, as always the positives struck me more important than anything else. And these run thus:
( here is what the counselling part of my brain had to say to my queries )


"

(I) Its very important to do certain things which people claim are bad. Else how will you ever differentiate between the good and the bad.
We should go to the end of the limits to know where the limits end

(II) Keeping quiet, huh? Good, you are saving energy. My friend, by keeping quiet you hone your listening skills. Being a critical listener is very important for any group discussion :-).

(III) The best way to know about yourself is to actually post-martem your thoughts. You have so much to know, so many excuses to get nusy and kicking :-).
Arise! Awake! And stop not till you reach your goal!

But, negative self-counseling can lead to depression, hence it is never advised.

(IV) Well yes some or the other dumbass would have said that. But didn't Kipling say : ...
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken
And stoop down and build 'em again with worn-out tools

All I would say is that you're becoming a man, my son.

(V) But son , if you don't eat now when the hell will you eat? AFTER PUTTING ON DENTURES??

"

---

So, thus these depressing thoughts have actually turned into areas to work upon for self-improvement. And,
"Work is worship"
have to remember that always. If you have read this far, then you ought to leave a comment and also answer a simple question.

Question :
How did you read the title as?
A : Change plus? Plus what... I have my calculator ready.
B : Change plus plus ( incrementing )
C : Change in the most positive sense, hence two '+' signs
D : It is written




The last option was a pure intention to market Slumdog Millionaire :-)

Random Thoughts : Episode 2

Note: This post should have come immediately on the next day of the preceding post. But owing to a malicious attack on my machine and a getting-back-into-the-groove attitude, I put any thoughts of reapir postponed.


Quite contrary to the expectations of a thick fog, the weather was more or less like a day from the english country side. The sun was smiling down like a newly-wed bride peeking out from her carriage. It was in short one of those beautiful days you will want to remember your entire life.

Around four in the evening though, it seemed as though someone had turned off all lights, a dull pinkish evening greeted sleepy eyes. But every rose has its thorns and the weather brought along with it fine dust that found home in our eyes. Nonetheless, the rain had soon arrived and it had rained like a baby uncontrollably crying. The sweet scent of the land and the sight of the trees in a new yellowish light lifted our aesthetic senses higher and higher. The weather was blissful for a while and then suddenly the lights had turned back on. It was resembling the lone polling station in Leh that many newspapers had printed. The wind was so cold that it sent every single soul back into their warm razais.

But we were in for another surprise, the dusty rain resumed and turned into a hail storm. Our footballers returned from the playground looking like crestfallen Mexican farmers who had lost their crops. Nature decided to play music on the cycles that were parked outside and we kept humming along.

A day of complete turnarounds, a lot of hope pumped into a few dying souls, and a whole lot of work awaited us.

P.S. : Also today happens to be the founder's day for Nirmaan: a non-governmental, non-profit organization which lives up to its motto of My India through various forms of social service like helping the villager's earn their daily bread, teaching their kids and construct useful technology that would help them in their future.

Random Thoughts : Episode 1

It was 10'o clock and an impulse was irked from the brain to respond to a tempting invitation: coffee break ( coffee's only for name, but never on the order :-) ). After a full month of minus five to plus degrees centigrade, february showed some mercy and let us keep the heavy coats aside for a while. But tonight was chilly and the wind carried the smell of fog, maybe tomorrow we would wake up to a white-curtain ( thick dense fog ) view.

My latest liking toward sandwiches, preferring them over the burgers for my own good, proved great this time around as well. Having it with Mustard sauce was almost like kissing fire, no matter, delicious on the whole. The temperature dipping, lips on fire, coke in hand...

I walked the mile gazing at the beautiful moon, she was shying behind the clouds, the wind occasionally blowing away her cover of clouds. The stars whispered good night and the wind rushed up to start playing music in my head. I took a deep breath, feeling the process of oxygen going into the lungs, deeper and deeper,at the tips of capillaries...

Bliss.

Two notorious friends celebrated their birthdays in a gap of a second. ( One of them was born on the 9th whose celebrations lasted till midnight and another on the 10th just about to kick-off. )

A very abstract way, nevertheless HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 19!!!

WINDS OF CHANGE

On a sombre chilly night, my shadow walked the earth
Through the winds like a candle, lit with fresh distant memories.
Whereas I savored the magic in every moment,
My thoughts scurried around like a rodent.


Thought I knew what was predicted :
To irregularity I would soon be addicted.
But its not that bad if once in a while,
You stop to think and walk the extra mile.


'Cos things will come rushing back
To try and try, you develop the knack.
There is no decimating hard work, indubitable
Step away and watch, the realizations are ineffable.


Doing things that make you feel insecure,
For a life without boredom, that's the cure.
Emotions and experiences in life have a colossal range
But now, nothing else matters, here come the winds of change.


Note: Coincidentally, here is what the quotation of the day has to say

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain (1835-1910)

He was a great man, Mark Twain :-)

The Underdog Threat

Remember Mr. Dumbass ? The idiot who thinks he knows everything but does not really understand what he knows. Who thinks that he and he alone can grasp/ talk about subject while the rest suck big time. Who believes that talking about the self will re-instill confidence not realising that boasting is the first step of character assasination.

Where are they headed? Why do they always need to keep shouting at people and insulting them on purpose? Why do they try to pick matches with the less intelligent lot or less able people? You grow only when you help out such people, stand up to face the better genre and leave not a single mark of self appraisal. There are many such people who claim the throne that can never be theirs because of the ignorance towards small things which matter the most : respect, tenderness and understanding nature. They think they are sitting pretty at the top while this is the very attitude that makes them fall into grim situations and render them the underdog status. To know that the brightest minds in the country are headed towards self-destruction and underdoghood is perhaps more saddening than any terror attacks or murders. The reason being that these kind of people potentially own the power to become both the destructor as well as the savior. They hold the key, they lock the doors, they are confused and wandering.

Whilst their internal battle will continue for another decade, lets address the underdog overhuman ( crazily termed ... just to hint at the intelligent show-off chums you have ) problem. Those clever people who talk without a hint of morality, who constantly try to make you feel inferior. What should be the best reply to all such unreasonable nincompoops ? No, its not physical violence nor haughty replies... they just expend your energy. Just keeping quiet because listen and silent are spelt with the same words.

Why keep quiet, you ask? To understand this :
" Silence is the most powerful response "

Nineteen On The Train

Single-digit temperature, a crowded circle and Delhi-going buses were to be the last of the eighteenth year. A hearty discussion with a friend whilst others slept rolling from side to side, a phone call... lots of phone calls actually; and the rising sun were the first things of the last-teen year, 19. So, much for the hype, but nineteen is really special as I've come to feel in its first month.

Things you'd like to know: ranging from a variety of nonsensical topics to the coolest softwares/ products; meeting friends in an altogether new light; developing a general code of living without even knowing it and actually being responsible & thoughtful in the most tensed-up situations with a hope for change. 19 makes you see things differently and, if realizations are followed, teaches more than you could ever know rendering a new 'you'.

Yet, nineteen is nothing without its predecessor, a year that troubled and taught and lit up the spirit. November 2008: I clearly remember wishing everyone "sweet november" at midnight not knowing what one hell of a month I had tagged as sweet. Things started the very first week through fever and weakness, a burning desire to run home that never existed before, most badly performed tests and an empty feeling.
Sometimes, you just know that things are not going to be okay, that anything you do will worsen the situation and you still have to do it. But, one year at college taught hope, that its better to do something than nothing, that things will be alright and they were by november ending. December wasn't deadly because of the change in thinking that november induced yet the latter's stain-coat was weather-proof.


The journey will serve the-one-special-thing-to-do-on-your-birthday question: travel 1600KM through the country, having fun...

BACK

What has changed over the last four months? Everything. A realization followed by a careless wave of the hand or a day of inactivity, a song or a movie discussion right from bathrooms to classes, friends to chill out with was the daily menu! No complaints, no regrets.
As we have seen, " if you haven't crashed yet, you are not going fast enough ".

CRASH! AND BACK...

Dhoni says, " Each day you have to start from scratch, it doesn't matter what you've done or what you are capable of doing.
It is important to keep thinking and doing. " [ He is undoubtedly one of the greatest captains ever ]

Before I end this new year preface here is a beautiful quote:

" If you are very possessive about something it is always a good idea to let go of it. "

Difficult thing to follow, but sounds wonderful to hear.
A belated Happy New Year and elated birthday wishes to friends, elephants and all the trees back home.