November 7, 2014

That sleepless drive

For a few week/months now, I'm unable to sleep. Entirely untrue on weekends of course, I sleep a log then. But otherwise, on workdays I cannot put myself to sleep at all.

Its everything:
- the excitement of work and working
- wanting to learn new things and
- the knowledge that there is so much to know.
As quoted again and again: a dream is something that does not let you sleep. 

I've been a bit concerned about health though, you know better sleep, better exercise leads to better work. But I had never looked at work as work, the collegian feeling continues. Ironically, I never treated college like college either I took it up like work.

So thoughts such as that or this-if you want to get something done, take up some other important thing and you'd eventually switch to the original task-are keeping my subconscious occupied for most part of the time.

I've (re) found that eliminating the distractions and focusing on the things that matter will make all the difference between good and great work.

Cheers for the remaining week. Oh and I didn't get tickets for Interstellar day 1 :| shall watch it on Monday.

October 28, 2014

Deep thoughts - I

I thought deeply about this quote and found how true it has been in my life. I needn't share those instances, I think everyone would come across such situations more often than not. But like celebrities we must tell ourselves that its not because of us, its because what is thought of us.

October 22, 2014

HBD Susheel

I missed wishing a couple of my closest buddies on their 25th birthdays due to a common problem of improper communication/wrong planning. The part I rue most, though, is me thinking that I should go with the group and that 'we' is better than 'me'. 

But in such cases and especially when the time may not return ever again, it would be better to go with me than we. I love me :D

Wish you a very happy birthday Susheel maybe this lesson will be of use to you as well sometime in the future :)

October 21, 2014

Am I too old to adjust now?

If there's one thing I took for granted about myself it was the fact that I could remain unruffled, even if I was provoked I could turn that into a blind spot and look for other happy things to occupy the mind. Enter the man phase and I simply can't keep quiet.

Some things and some people don't matter at all to me. And frankly speaking they never did. Fake premises of friendship, hypocrisy, cynicism, etc. are the things that I have always hated. And now, I'm taking the complete liberty to either ignore these elements or turn them back. Its the latter part which has got many of my friends alarmed but if I know what the right thing to be done is and I don't do it, then who will. 

September 14, 2014

Speaking out

It's a nice debate isn't it? Whether you gain more by expressing yourself or suppressing yourself. While the question of looking at gain from either of these exercises is also debatable we'll deal with the former first.

Whether you gain more by expressing verbally (direct or indirect), mentally or not expressing it all. Only one of these is conversational (there's external feedback) and only one of these approaches actually conforms to escapism.

Writing it down

From my experience of writing down stuff, be it in a diary or a blog, one thing I have time and again realized is that it gives you a great deal of clarity. Clarity about who you are, what you want to do in life and what you expect from your friends and relations and also, what they expect from you. Indeed life would be in great harmony if each of these things are always in sync. There would be no misunderstanding or fighting, receiving more than you can take or giving more than you can.

So the bottom line is this: expressing by writing down, removes clutter and allows for clarity to prevail. And since you've done the hard work of translating your emotions into words, expressing this to someone becomes so much more easier later on. To contrast that, try expressing your opinion or thoughts without thinking and see how much of the stuff goes wayside. If I were to quote like the last-page-of-the-newspaper-research only a third of what you speak is actually the issue bothering you. The rest of the time you are either:

  • wanting to feel good about yourself, or
  • talking negative about others (maybe even the person in front of you)
Nevertheless writing is an indirect way of expressing one self. You are your own critic, your own support, and you got to understand the fact that your first couple of analyses might actually be wrong and it's only the final analysis that sticks with you. Where this does lack is obvious in that it only has an internal feedback loop and your growth gets bounded by your understanding of the world at that point in time.

Speak out

You needn't sit down and write you could talk to your closest friends or simply to yourself.

One could argue if the above really holds or can be validated in any way. And in response, I ask you to recall the first corporate lesson that you are taught: "Think twice before you talk". I guess the first response of the brain is to defend itself internally, then externally and finally address the actual issue. No doubt this sounds like a Ig Noble snippet but hey this is no research blog that comes up with revolutionary stuff like "looking at puppy wallpapers boosts productivity"; maybe it makes them feel like going home early o_O.

So if one directly utters their raw feelings without thinking and just let's them flow would it help them or cause them further harm? Logically it would seem natural to be just letting out your thoughts as they come. But unless you are dealing with a humanoid, the person lending a ear is, who it is, that is at stake for you. 

The confrontation

While obviously one always looks to avoid any confrontation, most of the times it is better to sit down and talk about these things with the people themselves directly and maybe even shout at each other so that at the end of it both can realize what each other's positives and negatives are.

Story in a word?

So the short conclusion to this long story is that the next time you have a problem, don't get bogged down by it. Pick up the phone or write it down in your diary or type out your feelings (maybe into a blog) or even just face the sea and shout out all that you want. Each of these things can greatly relieve the internal turmoil you are facing and give you a direction for the next things.

August 25, 2014

The small joys

Saturday afternoon, while on the way to the hackathon event at the office, I happened to be travelling by an auto. And at the Tivoli crossroads, I saw a young girl pulling her mother across the road in a hurry. While she was definitely not following the traffic signals (people in Hyderabad have a tendency to cross when the traffic signal goes green not the pedestrian signal) I felt a bit emotional for two reasons:

  • the way her mother reacted to the little girl, oh my sweet little daughter sorts and 
  • perhaps wondering if the small girl had the conscience to not block/delay the traffic. It definitely seemed like she had thought about because although the signal was green there was not a vehicle in sight. 
It made my day (although it had just begun) to see all this happen while waiting in the auto and I smiled to myself, that for the umpteenth time I just felt immense happiness watching such small incidents. And I'm also often filled with a desire to meet these people, know about their lives and maybe just thank them... for providing happiness without even intending to. Life!

Six years of blogging

I've reached close to 5000 page views; and that feels really fantastic (albeit it took a long time!)
I just wanted to take this opportunity to acknowledge the constant support from my friends Sindhu, Pavi and Harshu who always had nice things to say about the blog. That kept encouraging me to write without worrying too much about how it would be received. Also thanks to Shivaram and Uday for their constructive criticism :D And a few other friends who genuinely found some posts funny and silly :)

I'd want to hit the next 5000 a little faster now :D

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