July 20, 2011

Letting it go

To what extent can you tolerate the annoying habits of your friends? Imagine giving the straightforward and churlish neighbor a tight slap, the parsimonious childhood friend a huge birthday bill... ah the sadistic pleasure it generates. Unnecessary, not needed at all...

All of us find one or the other habit in others which is annoying and which apparently seems to spoil the relation. But how many of us ourselves will be ready to change just because one or two people (however close a person, he or she still counts as only one) find that something about us annoys them? Imagine, when we quite enjoying ourselves, people come and tell that we are being mean and selfish; that it is all our fault. 

As long as we are not being annoying on purpose, it is absolutely fine to retort or ignore. If we realize that we are at fault, there is no other go but capitulate to change. Although we seem to be the compromising party, we gain immensely as far as emotional maturity is concerned. Also, it is a signal for us that we ought to leave behind certain things which no longer make sense. So what if he is straightforward? His words don't seem churlish any more. I don't care even if it does!

That's the story so far as the self is concerned. What do you do when you encounter such people or situations? Do you turn idealistic and start a lecture that might turn the relation sour? Or do you salvage your pride and let them go until they realize on their own? Both will work! But to people who have been great friends in the past, letting them go is a better option. 

To friends, old and new. 

PS. Till a few months ago, I used to find absolutely irritating the common tendency in friends to disparage people or be cynical to the extent of making bad things happen or like my dear friend, furiously try to show that they are better. Just wondering why these actions are not having an impact anymore :)  

This maturity plus controlled temper make a formidable combination.

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